This I Have Learned

As time slowly creeps toward the last day of school, I can't help but reflect back on my years of middle and high school. I've thought about my current circumstances and situations compared to how they were in freshman year, and it's safe to say I'm practically a new person. I learned many things but there are three things I will keep close to my chest as I adapt to a new place and people in the fall. 

Number one: This is your life. You are the center of your life and no one else isn't. From elementary school to middle school, I used to compare myself to my older brother a lot. To me, he was someone I could never even be like not even a little bit. I was in awe of every single one of his accomplishments - he was my idol. Clearly, I struggled with self-confidence too much to the point that I would compare every single quality I held to not only my brother but everyone else. For instance, if I got a "bad" grade on a quiz or test, I would instantly think "Oh, I'm not good enough." If I didn't like how I looked in the mirror, I would instantly think "Oh, I'm not good enough." Now I realize that I believed I needed to somehow be perfect in everything I could possibly do because I wanted to be impressive and be perfect like everyone else. These thoughts completely consumed my mind all the time while I was studying at home, sitting in school, or even when I was hanging out with my friends. 

However, there was one person who helped me learn that it is completely alright to not be perfect and be confident in myself in everything I do: my lovely mom. During my underclassmen years (I don't remember which year but I know it was either freshman or sophomore year), I revealed these struggles to my mom who attentively listened to me. This was when I learned that I am the protagonist, the main character of my life so I shouldn't compare myself to anyone else. They are at the center of their lives and I am at the center of my life. 

The next thing I learned from a sudden hit of realization is from the book Crying in H Mart written by Michelle Zauner. After reading this book, I realized the importance of appreciating and loving my family while I am still living with them. I honestly don’t think it hit me up until that point that I would be living in an entirely different state in a matter of a few months. Nevertheless, as Zauner commemorated her mother and wished she had spent more time with her, I understood that I should make sure not to make the same mistake. Even though most times I may not enjoy her "constructive criticism" (nagging), I know that I will miss everything about it. Similarly to Zauner, I related to her accounts of being an immigrant in a new, strange country and environment. Before I moved to Michigan, I lived in Tennessee and Alabama. The blank stares and silent judgments that were directed toward Zauner were the same ones that were headed toward me. Amongst all this trouble, my parents made sure I was having an enjoyable time and making happy memories. We would go to Chuck E. Cheese's every Friday, go out to eat, and travel to many places (my favorite places we've been to are Cancun, Hawaii, and DISNEYWORLD :D). As a result, I adapted wonderfully to my new school and made lots of friends. Looking back on it now, I appreciate my parents greatly for the hard work and sacrifices they made for my brother and I. Without their efforts, I definitely would not be the person I am today. 

As high school quickly comes to an end with only 9 days left, I have many lessons and memories I will carefully carry with me to college. I will miss all of my friends, family, and even my teachers (I love you Mrs. Knudson <3) as I move on towards adulthood. Most importantly, I'm so thankful for the experiences and knowledge I gained during these past 17 years of my life. If this is only what I encountered for 17 years, what other excitements will be coming my way in the future? I can't wait to take on my future and pursue my passion, especially for all the new insights I will gain. I will definitely live my life to the fullest.