My Name

"Should I call you Chloe or Nayoung?"

Before I gained US citizenship and had my name legally as Chloe, everyone called me "Nayoung." My Korean name - Na (나) and Young (영) - means "shine bright in the world." I hope I live it up to this meaning because I genuinely think it's captivating and stunning.

Something that I find really surprising and hilarious is that during the time I was born, Korean doctors would choose names for their patient's babies according to the specific time they were born, hence my Korean name is Nayoung because I was born at 6:40 am. Knowing this, I found it confusing, maybe even weirded out, when I heard my friends saying their parents chose their names. I don't think I care too much about the origins of my name since I never had a problem with it, but I am curious about what other name I could have been called. However, I don't think I'll ever know what it is because my parents forgot the other option (nice one).

When I lived in Tennessee and Alabama, my brother and I were out of place everywhere. He was better off than I was because he went as Brian and I still went as Nayoung. I was the only Asian in my grade and I can still reimagine my first day of first grade because I was so shocked and isolated. Every teacher I had in elementary school pronounced my name wrong, so I was so incredibly jealous of all the other students with simple names like Susie or Zoe (my best friends in elementary school). Being the little sensitive brat I was, I would go home and nag my mom about why I didn't have an American name (she always tried to make me think of one but I wasn't creative enough at the time).

Ever since I moved to Michigan and am reaching adulthood, I am starting to understand the value of names even more. We use names all the time to call people, refer to objects, and associate many different things with them. We even shorten names, like Elizabeth to Lizzie or Isabella to Bella. Or even Nayoung to Nay. 

I regret not loving my name as much as I do now because I narrowed my focus on its decoration, rather than its inner beauty and value. I wish I never degraded it.

Because I love "Nayoung."